If you look close enough you can see the deer in the bushes.
Not only did I learn to be patient, but even more so I learned to shut up.

That is, if you want to see something appear.



When your heater broke down the only place where you could find warmth and peace of mind was the shower.


Great to see you germs

You wonder what was so hard that you were unable to throw the paper in the toilet.



The freedom we have was not for you.
The wide range of choices was brought down to one for you.
But the happiness and gratitude in your embrace is bigger than all our thoughts together.

And the stories and memories we bring you are labeled, for they find a way into your legacy.


Under a spell

I found you under my bed, you layed there sleeping.
I spent the night on top of you and under your spell.



Everything you fed me, I take it on delivery. The fear does not grow, it is been washed away by the cocktail of tears and alcohol that I take down, shot by shot. I don´t have the sand to watch the room with the light on, I don´t have the guts to go to sleep sober. I sleep light, because the brick in my stomach falls heavy. I don´t dare to dream, because the awakening is either better or worse. And either way, it does no longer excist in real time, but just in my head.



I should go back inside but I can't move. The weatherman warned me this morning, there is a storm coming. Don't put on your raincoat. Leave your umbrella at home. There is no way to protect yourself from what is going on in the fiels. Better to lock the doors, stay in bed, close the curtains, stock up on food and beverages. But I had been waiting for it for so long. And now it was here, and I wanted to face it, feel it, endure it. I layed down on the grass, looking at the sky getting darker and darker. The sound of violence was ringing in my ears and I closed my eyes. Nothing happened. It passed by me without saying hello.


Fur is not funny

But she thought it was hilarious.



Running in circles
Walking in squares
Hoping for homeruns
Seeking for bends
Jumping off hearts
Burning off truths
Left right Left right
Without a cause
Back forth back forth
Within seconds


Dreamed the life

I fell asleep in the bathtub and dreamed I was swimming in a ocean of thoughts.

If anything at all

I wonder if she is happy. Funny enough I ask this random question to my friends every once in a while. But I never asked her. What does she regret most? If anything at all?



I spend hours yawning in front of this window. Years and seasons went by and nothing seemed to change.
I pressed my knees against the heater under the window when I was recording my tapes.
I rested my head on my hand when I was writing out lyrics that I did not understand.
I studied and I failed. I toasted and I stared.
I waited for another scenery to pop up in front of my eyes.
I waited for another life to present itself to me.
I waved at my boyfriend who arrived on his scooter.
I ran on my socks to get the mail. It was usually just the paper.
I watched the dog eating a rat that she catched in the water.
I laughed at my brother catching fish bare naked.
Then it was boredom. Now it is the heart of me.


Northern Light

I was born wanting to see the Northern Light. Up to this day I never had the chance to travel to the corners of the earth where the art of the sky is on free display.
I would prefer the color turquoise. Chances are there will come a day where you can order colors in the sky.
I would prefer to sleep in an iglo that night.
I would prefer to wrap myself in a fur blanket and lay on the snow looking up.
I would prefer to be alone. I assume looking at the Northern Light makes you feel alone and small anyways.
I would prefer to drink a vodka. Or probably a whole bottle of vodka.

But in the city of sins the Northern Light hides behind a million layers and lightyears of clouds and dust.
And I find my turquoise in the skyscraper buildings.


Fuck you very much

No longer will I bend over and close my eyes when they try to see through me. No longer will I hide under the stairs when I should be opening the door. No longer will I make myself smaller, dumber, tougher than I really am. No longer will I take bows, no longer will I hang the laundry to dry in a dark basement, where nobody can see the stains that won’t come out.
My back is straight, my sky is blue and fuck you very much.


Meet me on the roof top

Oh why is it that looking at you from above makes me feel smaller while you are the one that looks like a little voodoo doll that is pushed by a greater force.

I walked behind you so many times, after walking beside you for years.

Now I’m standing here, on the rooftop of my feelings, waiting for your hat that will make me regconize you in the endless stream of people. I will be able to follow your footsteps for ten minutes before you disappear behind the building again. I will look at your back and I can hear the song you listen to on your iPod. It is a different song than the one you listen to at the end of the day when you walk back to the trainstation and I can see the small dots in your face that are your eyes. Your eyes that stare at the street. Your eyes that won’t look up because you know I will be there, standing, looking, waiting for you.



He was not sure if the neighbours saw her coming in. They tend to ask him every other day who these people were, dropping by, eating over. He mostly answered with a quick nod, not willing to answer nor deny their questions or suspected answers.
He had been waiting in front of his door for an hour, pressing his ear against it, hoping to hear her footsteps on the stairs. After one hour and 13 minutes she rang the doorbell and he ran to the couch. Pretending to chill there, watching tv, not really caring if and when she would arrive. They drank some tea, spilled some wine, and talked about the weather. When they were both tired of beating around the bush they fell into his bed, half asleep, slightly drunk, completely oblivious.
The next morning he woke up and decided to leave the curtains closed that day, thinking the light of truth would not be able to come through.


Ella Ella Ella

Tears of the sky. Pissing angels. Clashing clouds. Food for the land. Purple. All good when under the covers.
And hold on to your umbrella-ella-ella.


The end of hair

First thing you should do when ending a relationship: cut off your hair. Old love tends to cling onto the last parts of your hair. Especially when touched by fingers that once touched other bodyparts on a regular basis. Once you are rid of this old hair, new love can grow back on your head. When giving it a couple of months it will eventually be long enough to hide your heart again.